Chapter 114: My Aspiration to Become an Immortal
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“What did you say?!”
Little Fatty Zhu Qizhen sprang to his feet with a nimbleness wholly at odds with his build. His eyes shone as he waved both hands in excitement and shouted incoherently, “You mean I can cultivate immortality? I can cultivate immortality! I can really cultivate immortality!”
“I yearn to become an immortal, happy enough to rival Heaven, so that I may live up to the beautiful fable…”
Zhu Qizhen had truly gone mad, taking great strides toward lunacy.
One moment he was singing, the next dancing; then he would burst into tears, only to laugh a heartbeat later. At times he gnashed his teeth, at others he threw back his head and howled at the sky. Then, with utterly adolescent fervor, he blurted out:
“I want the heavens to be unable to shield my eyes ever again!
“I want the earth to be unable to bury my heart ever again!
“I want every living soul to understand my will!
“I want all the gods and Buddhas filling the heavens to vanish like smoke and disperse like clouds!”
“Hey, wake up. It’s time to get up and carry bricks. The project manager is waiting anxiously…”
With a thought, Yang Xin condensed a ball of water in his hand and splashed it across Zhu Qizhen’s face, giving the madman a timely dose of cold water. Clearly, however, one water ball was not enough to rouse Zhu Qizhen from his feverish frenzy. Yang Xin splashed several more.
“Water Style—Who Built This Dam?!”
When even that failed to bring him to his senses, Yang Xin simply unleashed a water-style technique.
“Are you lucid now?” Yang Xin asked.
“I’m lucid. Immortal Master, you don’t understand. You can travel through the myriad heavens and worlds, summon wind whenever you want wind and rain whenever you want rain, with endless opportunities for immortal encounters. How could you possibly understand the sorrow of someone trapped in this world? This is merely a martial-arts world, not a world of cultivation. If you hadn’t awakened me, I could have muddled through my entire life and let it go. But you had to awaken me! I yearn to become an immortal, happy enough to rival Heaven. In the end, it is still those lyrics…”
Zhu Qizhen once again began marching toward madness.
“Have you ever studied The Examination Success of Fan Jin? Be careful, or I’ll use this palm strike that descends from the heavens.”
Yang Xin raised his palm.
Zhu Qizhen nodded repeatedly, yet could not stop himself from singing, “I yearn to become an immortal, happy enough to rival Heaven, transforming into legends passed down upon the wind…”
“Why do you keep singing lyrics from Journey to the West: The Sequel?” Yang Xin asked helplessly.
“Immortal Master, you don’t understand! How could someone dwelling above the clouds know the misery of those below, like mud beneath the clouds? Journey to the West: The Sequel was my favorite in my dreams!
“It was a magnificent domestic fantasy television series of exceptional quality. You cannot imagine it—a genius work created by genius actors and a genius director working together!
“It was this series that created the acting art of Sun Wukong’s expressionless face, vacant stare, and constant twitching;
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“It was this series that invented postmodern martial arts, in which an action was repeated three times to demonstrate its power.
“A simple fighting move had to be performed once on the left, once on the right, once on the left, once on the right, then replayed until the end of time. It was precisely because of this that the series pioneered a new cinematic path: taking a plot that could have been completed in three episodes and stuffing it into a full thirty.
“Each episode was roughly thirty minutes long. That included nearly five minutes of opening credits and cast introductions, five minutes of closing credits and previews for the next episode, and another ten minutes of repeated fight scenes. Damn it, only the remaining ten minutes contained the actual plot!
“Whenever Sun Wukong battled a villain and subdued him, he would always gloat, ‘I haven’t even exerted myself, and you’ve already fallen…’
“Monk Tang had become a martial-arts master in the series. The Solitary Yang Finger technique was child’s play to him. Yet despite being such formidable figures, these people were always inexplicably vomiting blood—vomiting blood, vomiting blood, and more vomiting blood…
“And then there was the great villain Wutian. Every time he appeared, he acted cool as a rock star, only to be knocked out by Sun Wukong with a computer-generated special effect in the end. Fuck, I was utterly defeated.
“What’s more, that character wore the same expression from beginning to end, always looking like a bitter melon. His nauseating performance constantly made me suspect that there was something gay going on between him and Sun Wukong.
“And the reincarnated spirit child of the Buddha was named Qiao Ling’er. He fell in love while living among mortals. That’s right! The Buddha’s reincarnation fell in love in the human world—and it was a passionate love triangle at that!
“But I cannot help questioning the Buddha’s taste. Damn, it was truly awful. Just look at the way he dressed—he looked as though he had come from some rural-urban fringe. And that woman named Biyou was the worst of all. I couldn’t stand her, calling out ‘Ling’er, Ling’er…’ from morning till night like she was perpetually in heat.
“In short, language fails me when it comes to describing this television series. I can only say that Journey to the West: The Sequel was the fighter jet of bad movies…”
“You’re incredible!”
After listening to Zhu Qizhen’s explanation, which had poured forth like a comic monologue, Yang Xin gave him a thumbs-up.
“I yearn to become an immortal…”
“Stop!”
Yang Xin hurriedly raised a hand to signal him to stop. Severe illness required strong medicine, so Yang Xin said solemnly, “Looking across all of history, from ancient times to the present, have you ever seen an emperor who could cultivate immortality?”
Zhu Qizhen’s face instantly turned deathly pale. Yet he still clung to the last shred of hope and whimpered like a wounded beast on the verge of death.
“Then what did you mean when you said one could transcend the Three Realms and stand beyond the Five Elements?”
“You are the Human Sovereign. You should follow the ancient path of the Human Sovereigns. How could you possibly take the path of immortal cultivation?”
Yang Xin tapped Zhu Qizhen on the head, his expression filled with exasperation at someone failing to live up to his potential.
Yang Xin raised a hand and tapped Zhu Qizhen between the brows. The Human Sovereign Fortune-Consolidation Art, drawn from the Treasure-Separation System, flowed into Zhu Qizhen’s mind.
The Human Sovereign Fortune-Consolidation Art had been created by the ancient Human Sovereigns. It condensed the fortune of humankind into one’s innate origin treasure, thereby establishing the path of the Human Sovereign. When the time came to conduct the Fengshan ceremony on Mount Tai, one could stand alongside the Three Sovereigns and rank equally with the Five Emperors. Though it was not immortal cultivation, it surpassed immortal cultivation in strength, allowing one to share longevity with Heaven and Earth and shine together with the sun and moon.
“How does one establish the path of the Human Sovereign?” Zhu Qizhen asked, puzzled.
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“Externally, expand your borders and enlarge the territory of the empire. Internally, allow the people to recover and rebuild, ensure honest and capable governance, let the common folk live and work in peace, and allow the human way to flourish. The faster the fortune of humankind will gather.”
Yang Xin looked at him with the unmistakable expression of a top student gazing at a hopelessly poor one.
“Then what is an innate origin treasure?” Zhu Qizhen asked cautiously.
“The thing in your hands is your innate origin treasure. Looking throughout this entire world, is there anything more suitable for that purpose?”
Yang Xin spoke angrily.
“The He Clan Jade Disk and the Imperial Seal?”
Zhu Qizhen froze, then his face lit up with delight.
“There truly is nothing more suitable than this.”
“Then when will the Immortal Master leave this world?” Zhu Qizhen asked casually. He sounded unconcerned, but was in fact extraordinarily wary.
Yang Xin smiled silently. Though Zhu Qizhen had been steeped in the influences of later ages within the illusion, in essence he was still the supreme emperor of the Great Ming.
“Are you worried that I might threaten your throne?” Yang Xin asked bluntly.
Zhu Qizhen was rendered speechless. He had never expected Yang Xin to place his private concern so openly upon the table.
“The more prosperous the human way becomes and the faster the fortune of humankind gathers, the sooner I will leave. You need not fear that I pose any threat to you. Once a certain level is reached, even if I wish to remain in this world, I will be unable to do so.”
“Rejection by the consciousness of the world’s origin?” Zhu Qizhen asked hurriedly.
Yang Xin nodded. Then, as though remembering something, he waved his hand and said, “One should carry a good deed through to the end and send the Buddha all the way to the western heavens. You ought to find these things useful.”
Potatoes, sweet potatoes, wheat, and the seeds of other high-yield crops appeared before Zhu Qizhen, along with several immensely thick volumes of the Encyclopedia.
The Encyclopedia covered everything under the sun, compiling and systematically presenting detailed accounts of the advanced knowledge of the human world.
“Thank you, Immortal Master!”
Zhu Qizhen gave him a solemn bow and spoke with deep respect.
“All right. I’m not helping you for nothing. There are several things you must do for me.”
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