Chapter 30: Are We Really Not Cultivating Immortality?

"Knock, knock, knock."

Luo Yan was lying comfortably on the sofa, watching TV. Modern life was truly pleasant—having internet and a smartphone was a luxury. A knock sounded at the door. Luo Yan glanced toward the entrance and, through the security door, identified the visitor as Ye Hai.

"Brother Luo, have you seen Ye Fan?" Ye Hai asked, his expression anxious.

"Ye Fan? No. Hasn't he returned home yet today?"

"When I went to pick him up from school today, the teacher said Ye Fan had already been collected. I assumed his mother had picked him up, but when I returned home and asked, I found out that wasn't the case. That’s why I wanted to ask if you’d seen him come home," Ye Hai said urgently. Behind him, Ye Fan’s mother was making a phone call, looking equally distressed.

Luo Yan’s divine sense immediately swept across the entirety of Da Nan City. He quickly pinpointed Ye Fan’s location.

He found the cause of the disappearance: local Earth cultivators had discovered the jade piece Ye Fan was carrying and had kidnapped him to interrogate him about its origins.

"Don't worry, Ye Fan is fine. I've found him," Luo Yan reassured the two, then stepped forward and vanished from the apartment complex. This sight left them both stunned.

"Little boy, tell your big sister, who gave you this jade?" three Earth cultivators asked patiently. They sounded amiable, but since they had tied Ye Fan to a chair, they clearly weren't the good guys.

Ye Fan looked at them in terror, tears welling up in his eyes.

These three did not look like normal human beings: one had cyan scales on his face; another leaned on a cane, his hands devoid of flesh and reduced to white bone; the third looked somewhat human, save for the green light glowing in his eyes, making him look as if he might devour someone alive.

"Uncle Luo gave it to me..." Ye Fan replied truthfully, trembling.

"Who is this 'Uncle Luo'?"

Ye Fan blurted out without thinking, "Uncle Luo is just Uncle Luo. I don't know his real name. He gave me this jade and told me it could ward off evil and protect me from disaster!" Ye Fan wasn't stupid; he had guessed that the jade was extraordinary.

"What should we do? Should we act?" the old man with the cane asked, worried that snatching the jade might offend a powerful figure.

The man with glowing green eyes was completely unfazed. "Of course we act! We’ve already kidnapped the kid; it’s too late to worry about offending anyone! We might as well kill him and destroy the evidence so that we don't have to worry about this so-called 'Uncle Luo' coming after us."

The woman with the cyan scales agreed. "If he was generous enough to give away a jade of this caliber, he must have more on him! The Dao patterns within this jade are incredibly important. If we can comprehend them, we will surely gain immense benefits! Let's find a chance to investigate his identity. If he’s just an ordinary person, we'll..."

"Then it's settled!"

The moment they made their decision, a figure appeared out of thin air before them.

"Who?" The three were terrified.

"So, they are just a few minor demons. I thought they were human cultivators."

*Splat!*

Their pupils dilated in shock as they realized they couldn't utter a single word. Their vision inverted, and they only caught sight of three headless corpses.

"Uncle Luo!"

Ye Fan’s mouth hung wide open. In his mind, Uncle Luo was just a kind and ordinary man. He never imagined that Uncle Luo could be so formidable, turning his hand into a blade and killing those three with such ease.

Facing the bloody scene, Ye Fan suppressed his fear and asked, "Uncle Luo, are you an immortal?"

"Me? I am not. I’ve only practiced some martial arts. Do you want to learn?"

Ye Fan nodded rapidly.

"I'll teach you once you start middle school."

...

"Uncle Luo, I'm starting middle school next semester! You promised to teach me how to cultivate immortality once I started!" Ye Fan knocked on the door early in the morning.

Luo Yan opened the door, and Ye Fan dashed inside, dropped his backpack, sat on the sofa, and naturally grabbed the fruit from the table, taking a bite.

"Cultivate immortality? What immortality? We must believe in science!"

"I meant you said you'd teach me martial arts, the kind that can split stone with one palm!" Ye Fan jumped off the sofa and gestured, acting like a little master.

Luo Yan laughed. "That is hard work. It takes over a decade to master! Are you prepared for such a grueling task?"

Ye Fan patted his chest confidently. "I'm ready!"

Luo Yan produced a manual and handed it to Ye Fan. "I’ve prepared this for you! The martial arts in this book will help you effectively train your body and build a foundation. Follow the instructions carefully."

Ye Fan stared at him, looking confused. He tilted his head. "That's it?"

"Shouldn't it be like in martial arts novels, where you cleanse the marrow, cut the meridians, and open the Ren and Du channels?" Ye Fan asked with some expectation.

"You know quite a bit, don't you? But it’s not that complicated. What they say on TV isn't necessarily true! I also have three drops of precious blood here, left behind by a martial arts master from the past. I will place them between your eyebrows; they will help you break through ancient taboos in the future." Luo Yan pressed three drops of his own essence blood into Ye Fan’s brow.

Ye Fan couldn't help but ask again, "Uncle Luo, are we really practicing martial arts and not cultivating immortality?"

"Of course. You must believe in science!" Luo Yan said with a straight face, and right in front of Ye Fan, he produced three drops of divine liquid out of thin air—the divine liquid of the Changbai Mountain Polygonum multiflorum.

"What is this?"

"A precious medicine! Comparable to the peaches of immortality! It contains immense vitality; it can bring the dead back to life and regrow flesh on bones!"

Ye Fan’s mouth went wide. "Uncle Luo, are we really not cultivating immortality?"

Luo Yan said sternly, "I told you to believe in science! There are no immortals in this world! Now, I’ll store these three drops of divine liquid in your body; they will save your life three times in the future!"

Before long, Ye Fan left, hopping and skipping while clutching the physical training manual.

"You didn't finish your fruit!" Luo Yan called out from behind.

Ye Fan replied from the doorway, "I'm not eating it! I’m off to practice martial arts!"

A donkey jumped onto the sofa, grabbed the half-eaten fruit Ye Fan had left behind, and started chewing. It grumbled while eating, "That kid really doesn't know quality when he sees it. This is good stuff! Can't let it go to waste!"

Could Ye Fan not know?

This fruit was something Luo Yan had "picked up" by chance on his way from Beidou to Earth, when he passed by an extremely prosperous planet. He had even accidentally shattered that planet in his distress over the acquisition.

Now, that divine vine seed had been revived by the blood of a Quasi-Emperor—Luo Yan—taking root and sprouting, bearing fruits of five different colors.

This vine was known as the Five Elements Vine. While it didn't rank among the Undying Immortal Medicines and wasn't even a semi-divine medicine, it was still a rare treasure of the world.

The fruits it bore contained fragments of the laws of the Five Elements. Long-term consumption could enhance one's comprehension of these laws; if one's aptitude was high enough, one might even condense the laws of the Five Elements.

Beyond that, it subtly improved the consumer's physique, offering a chance to develop an acquired Five Elements Divine Body.

After happily finishing the half-fruit, the donkey said with lingering desire, "It’s a shame it only bears a dozen or so at a time..."

"But luckily, this divine vine has absorbed the Master's Quasi-Emperor blood, so it blossoms every three days and bears fruit every half-month." The donkey felt a twinge of jealousy; that was Quasi-Emperor blood, which in some sense was comparable to an Undying Immortal Medicine.

If Ye Fan knew, he would surely regret his wastefulness today.