How can you possibly lose when the Avengers ride right into your face?

The vast majority of people on Earth remained completely oblivious to the fact that their planet had once again become the prime target of various cosmic overlords.

Even if they had known, they likely wouldn't have reacted much. After all, the probability of witnessing an alien invasion in this world was still noticeably higher than an employer telling their staff about a raise next month, or a long-admired crush spontaneously asking one out for dinner.

Similarly, the Avengers, including Joss, were completely in the dark, spending their days lost in the endless loops of battle royale games and live-stream viewing.

"Look, look everyone, Loki transformed into Senior Agent Lynn today," Nick Fury pointed at the screen with a chuckle.

Displayed on the monitor above was a voluptuous, blonde-haired, blue-eyed woman. Before Fury even finished speaking, a rather salacious grin was already plastered across Thor's face, and at those words, that expression turned... significantly more salacious.

In the Avengers lounge today, there were only four people present: Joss, Nick, Thor, and Bruce. The first rarely engaged in frontline combat, the second was too lazy to move, the third stayed solely for the free fried chicken, and the fourth was someone nobody dared to provoke into casual movement.

[Is this Loki's outfit for today? Agent Lynn?] — Captain America

Thanks to the suggestions Joss had given to Tony, the Avengers' surveillance feeds had long been upgraded with a live bullet-commentary feature. While currently restricted to just a few members within the team, it allowed those out on missions to exchange banter with everyone else.

[What is her... no, his objective today? Loki should have figured out where the Tesseract is hidden over the past couple of days, right?] — Your Black Widow

[He's probably scouting the route. If nothing unexpected happens, he'll make a move in the next couple of days.] — Get to Know the Avengers?

[Then we need to prepare ourselves accordingly.] — Captain America

[By the way, I never expected Thor's little brother to have such a great figure!] — Number One Archer Under Heaven

[Whoever thinks the figure is great, don't you dare leave. Count me in!!!] — I Am the Super Handsome Spider-Man

[Peter, if you sneakily play with your tablet during class one more time, I'm confiscating it.] — Rich and Thick-Skinned

[I was wrong, Mr. Stark!] — I Am the Super Handsome Spider-Man

[Are the two of you above out of your minds? That's just an illusion!] — Actually I Think the Mechanical Wings Are Cooler

[Well, her boobs are still bigger than Natasha's though.] — Smash Your Dog Head to Pieces

[Thor, you just wait.] — Your Black Widow

[Holy crap, holy crap? Wait, she can actually see what I'm typing? What kind of crappy garbage did Stark code here?] — Smash Your Dog Head to Pieces

[Heh, I can see it too.] — Rich and Thick-Skinned

[Wait, wait, wait, what is going on with all your code names?] — Captain America

[Mine was given by Joss. Pretty cool, right?] — Number One Archer Under Heaven

[......] — Bucky, Where Are You?

[Captain??] — Where There's a Will There's a Way

[What the hell changed my name??? Are you guys trying to die? Joss, was this you??] — Where There's a Will There's a Way

[Anyway... what were we talking about before?] — Get to Know the Avengers?

Watching the atmosphere in the comment section grow increasingly volatile, Joss handed Thor another plate of fried chicken and decisively teleported back home.

He certainly wasn't scared; how could he possibly be scared, right?

"Though looking at this setup, I really should suggest to the software team that they hurry up and put together something like a Marvel chat group."

Having arrived in this world for nearly half a year now, the thing that irritated Joss the most was the sheer inconvenience of not having access to his favorite instant messaging apps.

It had to be said that mainstream Western social software wasn't particularly comfortable to use, and without custom stickers and emojis, Joss always felt something was missing from his conversations. He was half-tempted to build one himself.

As for the stray penguin he had acquired a couple of days ago, considering there was no telling when another one could be manufactured, and even with two they wouldn't necessarily be more efficient than a radio, he had simply sent it off to work part-time at a fried chicken joint.

Though it could only work a single shift, audience feedback showed it was immensely popular—a model employee characterized by great looks, a pleasant aroma, and delicious utility.

However, since Joss's grand plan involved rescuing the impoverished spiritual world of the Marvel populace from the depths of misery—which meant not only vigorously promoting pay-to-win microtransactions... strike that, fun games, anime, and movies, but also letting the radiance of idols and fine cuisine illuminate the cosmos—everything required a broader foundation.

If he wanted to snap his fingers and have half the universe cheering with fried chicken in hand, the absolute prerequisite was running fiber-optic cables everywhere, including Thanos's hometown.

Otherwise, if outer planets had no signal, how were people supposed to pull gacha banners, grind dungeons, or watch live streams?!

Network issues couldn't be resolved overnight, so Joss's current goal was still to produce these things right here on Earth first, and eventually unleash a series of polished products to sweep across the entire universe.

After jotting down relevant notes in his personal notebook, Joss stretched lazily, his thoughts drifting back to the situation with Loki.

Since the adversary had already located the Space Stone—or rather, the Tesseract—within S.H.I.E.L.D., the Chitauri invasion couldn't possibly be far off.

Yet concerning this cataclysm that, in the original timeline, had nearly flattened New York City, Joss's current mindset was remarkably relaxed.

Let's look at a quick comparison of the opposing forces.

On Loki's side: Boss Loki, accompanied by a handful of whale-shaped living warships, and an overwhelmingly pathetic mob of Chitauri foot soldiers.

On the Avengers' side: One guy who fights everyone to a standstill, two overpowered cheaters, one pay-to-win whale, a bunch of supporting deadfish who could cheer from the sidelines, an unknown number of powerful outside reinforcements, and a psycho clutching a bomb capable of leveling all of New York City.

How could they possibly lose? I ask you, how could a face-to-face Avengers steamroll ever lose?

Instead of treating Loki as a formidable boss, Joss viewed him as a total newbie leading a guild of scrub players, traveling tens of thousands of miles across the cosmos just to challenge a hell-difficulty Earth dungeon.

What kind of noble spirit was that, comrades! Even if a League of Legends player popped their ultimate and marched four teammates plus twenty minions straight into the enemy fountain to feed, they wouldn't be half as dedicated as Loki!

After careful consideration, Joss concluded that this battle was entirely in the bag!

When the time came, all he needed to do was sit at home, eat hot pot, sing songs, and when the clock struck right, stroll over to Stark Tower to grab some dinner.

Joss: The Bloodless Victor, the Unconquered Champion!

Joss nodded in satisfaction, but the sudden ringing of his phone interrupted his train of thoughts. Checking the caller ID, it was none other than Nick Fury, whom he had just seen moments ago.

"Hello? Nick, what's up?"

"We've got a major crisis!" On the other end of the line, Nick Fury's voice sounded profoundly uneasy—even more rattled than a teenage anime fan girl.

"Whether it was man-made or an accident, Steve and the others ran into a spatial anomaly. Right now, nobody knows where they've been swept off to."