I Choose You, Lump!

A flash of black light tore through the air, and a serpent-like dagger traced a terrifying arc, aimed squarely at Thor’s throat!

It was not that Loki had suddenly turned over a new leaf and decided to spare the abdomen; it was simply that Thor’s gargantuan belly looked utterly impervious to any conventional blade!

Loki’s movement was as swift as rolling thunder. Even though close-quarters combat was not his primary forte, he was fundamentally a Frost Giant—a race blessed with formidable physical prowess—allowing him to move dozens of times faster than an ordinary human soldier.

Matched with his physiology, Loki’s proficiency in short-dagger combat was nothing short of miraculous, the blade dancing between his fingers with uncanny flexibility.

Even with high-tech space weaponry close at hand, he would undoubtedly choose his trusted daggers to meet an enemy.

Had an ordinary agent or superhero been standing here, facing such a sudden and vicious onslaught, they would have had no choice but to take the blow head-on.

Thor, however, was a different story. Having grown up alongside Loki since childhood, he knew his younger brother’s temperament all too well—he could practically tell what Loki had for breakfast the moment the trickster twitched a muscle.

Though the ambush looked ferocious, the very moment Loki’s smile shifted, Thor sensed it instinctively. With a slight shuffle of his feet, as if gifted with precognition, he dodged Loki’s assassination strike entirely!

And then he simply went rolling away like a tumbling melon.

Perhaps the evasion was too earth-shattering to behold, as Loki stood frozen in place for several seconds before remembering he needed to follow up with a counter-attack. By then, however, Thor had already steadied his posture.

Stuffing the remaining fried chicken in his hand straight into his mouth, Thor reached out an arm to summon his mighty hammer. Realizing something was terribly amiss, Loki did not dare to arrogantly withstand a direct bolt of lightning. Tapping his feet rapidly against the ground, he retreated several dozen meters in an instant.

Yet, even dozens of seconds after Loki had conjured an ice wall as a defensive barrier using his scepter, the anticipated lightning strike never materialized. Thor remained frozen in his reaching pose, not moving so much as an inch.

"What's going on? Is it an illusion? Or some kind of trap?" Although Loki fancied himself well-acquainted with Thor’s simple-minded nature, the God of Mischief could not help but overthink, desperately connecting Thor’s bizarre posture to some elaborate conspiracy.

Uncertain of what lay beneath, Loki reinforced his defenses with yet another layer of ice, encasing himself in a three-hundred-and-sixty-degree cocoon of frost.

Though his primary mastery lay in the arts of illusion, as a descendant of the Frost Giants, Loki possessed an extraordinary talent for frost magic, capable of freezing Heimdall, the guardian of the Bifrost, into an ice sculpture with a single strike!

Now, fueled by a surging sense of crisis prompted by Thor’s eccentric behavior, Loki pushed his frost magic to absolute perfection, laying down multiple layers of defense to guarantee his own safety.

Most insidiously, he concealed several "mines" within the ice. The moment they were triggered, they would unleash a torrential barrage of ice shards harder than steel, shredding any attacker into a human sieve in the blink of an eye!

"Hehehe... Come on then, you foolish Thor. Let me see what you are plotting!" Loki sneered inwardly, his gaze fixed on Thor with absolute confidence.

"Hmph!"

Suddenly, Thor, who had maintained his outstretched posture the entire time, let out a low rumble that sounded half like a cold grunt and half like a furious roar. The sound reverberated like a collapsing mountain, startling Loki into instinctively bracing himself.

The next second, Thor looked toward Loki with a deadpan expression, the layers of fat on his face rippling as he bellowed, "Loki, help me pick up the hammer! I can't reach it!"

"Aha????" Loki found it hard to believe his own ears.

Thor shook his jowls, looking thoroughly displeased. "I told you back then, this hammer should have been forged with a longer handle! How am I supposed to hold something with a handle this short?"

No, no, no! When you first lifted that hammer, your body mass was less than a quarter of what it is now! This is entirely not a problem with the hammer, you idiot!

Though Loki desperately wanted to burst out of his icebox, grab Thor by the collar, and roar in his face, he remained paranoid that this might still be a cunning ruse, leaving him momentarily paralyzed with indecision.

"Tch, if he can't even pick up the hammer, won't he be unable to attack? Then all these intricate traps I set up will go to waste..."

"Oh whatever! Forget it, it's just a damn hammer. Loki, I'm not using it anymore!"

Just as Loki was feeling thoroughly disgruntled, Thor finally abandoned his quest for the hammer. Flailing his massive belly, he lunged toward Loki with a lumbering, wobbling gait.

Though he had no idea what kind of mental gymnastics had just occurred inside Thor’s brain, seeing his adversary charge precisely in the manner he had anticipated made Loki heave a profound sigh of relief.

"Hehe, as expected of brainless Thor. This layer of ice looks as thin and transparent as glass, yet not even your proudest hammer throw could shatter it in a single blow, coupled with the reflecting ice spines, hehehehe..."

Yet, just as Thor lumbered across the floor toward him—whether due to a loose stone or some other clumsy mishap—he tripped, transforming into a rolling sphere of flesh hurtling straight at Loki, before slamming with a resounding *CRASH* directly into Loki’s prized ice wall.

And just like that, the ice wall shattered. It shattered cleanly, succinctly, and with ruthless efficiency, leaving Loki standing there with a face full of utter incomprehension.

So your rolling momentum packs more punch than Mjolnir itself?!

Before that thought could even complete half a revolution in Loki’s mind, he realized a gigantic, spherical shadow was bearing down upon him.

Reflexively, Loki tried to leap backward, only to crash straight into the very ice wall he had erected himself. His own forehead served as a painful firsthand witness to the fact that his ice wall was indeed painfully hard!

Alas, before he could even squeeze out a proper groan of agony, Loki was flattened beneath an absolute mountain of flesh.

And sweet Odin, was it heavy!

He had been pinned down by Thor’s hammer resting on his chest countless times in the past, but none of those weights were ever this terrifying!

"I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die, I'm gonna die! Thor, you son of a—*%&%&*@#￥!!*"

Having successfully pinned Loki through sheer physical mass, Thor wasted no time. Sparks of electric current suddenly crackled across his entire body, delivering shocks so intense that Loki could no longer form coherent sentences.

"Huh? So I can discharge electricity without the hammer after all? It seems Earth's fried chicken has awakened a brand new power within me."

Thor thought with pleasant surprise. While he wasn't sure if having the hammer pressed against his belly was a necessary catalyst, he found this method infinitely more convenient than wielding the weapon.

"You fat bastard, get off me right now—*@@#￥@#%……@#%&￥#%￥#%#@*!!!!"

......

"I swear I'm going to murder you—*@#￥@%#@*!!"

......

"Asshole! Moron! Good-for-nothing!—*#￥%#%#！@￥!*"

......

"Yingyingying, stop zapping me, I can't take it anymore—*@#￥@#%*……"