45 The Joyful Wind Dancer Jos

According to the movies, killing—or at least temporarily neutralizing—Apocalypse seems to require blowing him to pieces. Even halving him, or at the very least, decapitating him. Yet Lara and her team had already tried once, and now Apocalypse would certainly not allow them to get close again. Beheading him would be even more difficult.

“Lara, Blackie, hold him off for one minute. I’ll try to come up with something. If it doesn’t work, we execute Plan B!” Joss spoke quickly to the two, then immersed himself in the system’s lottery, leaving Lara staring at Blackie in bewilderment.

“What’s this Plan B he’s talking about? I’ve never heard of it.”

“Oh, it just means running away.” Although Joss had never actually mentioned Plan B, Blackie revealed the truth without hesitation.

“Die, insects!” From a distance, Apocalypse hadn’t heard their conversation, but his assault did not pause for a moment. With a sweep of his massive hand, a wave of psychic blasts and sandstorms surged toward Lara and her companion.

Engrossed in the system’s lottery, Joss barely reacted to the chaos outside, his attention fixed solely on the lottery panel. He had fourteen thousand points, with each draw costing a hundred—apparently quite affluent. But Joss harbored little hope; after a brief sigh, he selected the ten-draw option.

“Come to think of it, this is my first lottery since the system upgrade. If I recall, now you can even draw physical items?”

As the system panel flashed with light, a round object suddenly materialized, dazzling under the system’s golden glow.

[Congratulations, host, you have drawn a UR-grade item!]

“Wait, UR-grade? Isn’t that even higher than SSR? And this smooth curve, this size… Could it be Captain America’s shield?”

Though the glow obscured the details, the black, round object looked uncannily like the famed shield. Coupled with the unprecedented UR grade, it was impossible for Joss not to let his imagination run wild.

“If it really is the shield, I’ll be a fifty-fifty powerhouse from now on!” Ecstatic, Joss hurriedly snatched the disc-shaped item without even checking the rest of the lottery results.

[Name: Jade Dragon Wok]
[Rarity: UR]
[Effect: Gain recognition from other legendary kitchenware. When wielded by an acknowledged individual, phoenix and dragon patterns will appear.]

“Damn it, it really is a legendary artifact?!” Without delay, Joss exited the system and hurled the Jade Dragon Wok toward Apocalypse.

Never mind giving me a wok at a time like this—what’s the use? There are plenty of legendary kitchen implements, and even if he drew one or two, maybe he could show off and write a few thousand words about it later.

But the problem was, the Jade Dragon Wok didn’t even have a “makes your cooking taste better” effect!

Duang!

From afar, Apocalypse punched the wok away and blasted Joss in the face with sand. Fortunately, Joss had pulled Blackie in front to shield him, or he would have been riddled with holes.

“Huh? So the wok returns automatically to the system? If I accumulate enough random junk, perhaps I could play King of Junkyard someday.”

Watching the Jade Dragon Wok automatically repair itself and return to the system backpack, Joss pondered this ridiculous scene and refocused on the lottery page.

As expected, with the introduction of physical draws, the useless items in the system increased. Besides the Jade Dragon Wok, the ten-draw yielded three more objects:

A pair of slippers, supposedly worn by the Evil Cloud Demon King.
An embroidery needle, allegedly used by Granny Rong.
Two glow sticks, perfect for cheering Apocalypse on.

The ten-draw came with a bonus, but four of them were this sort of headache-inducing junk, and even the abilities drawn included some utterly disheartening ones.

[Name: Useless Ability]
[Rarity: N]
[Effect: As the name implies, this ability is useless. You now have collected four.]

“You’re just scamming me for points, aren’t you?!”

Still, only two were like this; the rest included several common useless abilities, such as:

[Name: Sleeping Master]
[Rarity: R]
[Effect: Inherited from Nobita Nobi’s secret technique; you can fall asleep whenever you wish.]

***
[Name: Super Saiyan Wig (Super I)]
[Rarity: SR]
[Effect: Your hair can look as cool as a Super Saiyan’s.]

***

[Name: The Smaller My Advantage, The More Reckless I Become]
[Rarity: N]
[Effect: When facing a hostile opponent stronger than you, you’ll feel an irresistible urge to show off.]
[Set Effect: If you possess The Smaller My Advantage, The More Reckless I Become, Hassake, Facing the Wind, Teammates’ Question Marks Can’t Catch Me, and How Can I Use My Ultimate Without Being Knocked Up, you activate the Happy Windman set bonus.]
[Happy Windman (Preview): Comprehend the joyful Windblade Swordsmanship.]

Of the three abilities, Joss ignored the first two, but the last made his eyes narrow thoughtfully.

Earlier, his combined assault with Lara proved that Apocalypse, as in the films, was not invincible. Whether it was laser beams, adamantium claws, or Blackie’s blades, they could tear his body. Their attacks were effective.

But because Apocalypse’s recovery was formidable, and none of them had Phoenix-level power to atomize him, he only needed a moment to push them away and heal. That’s why they couldn’t kill him.

In other words, whether it was burst or sustained damage, Joss’s team was lacking. If they could address this, killing Apocalypse wouldn’t be impossible.

“Windblade Swordsmanship… If I truly had a sword that commanded the wind, maybe it would work!” Drawing a deep breath, Joss continued the lottery.

The many ridiculous abilities aside, after spending nearly ten thousand points, he finally completed the Happy Windman set!

[Name: Happy Windman]
[Set Effect: Comprehend the complete, joyful Windblade Swordsmanship.]
[PS: Must use a sword to trigger this effect.]

Though the description was brief, the actual effect was powerful—a set of exquisite sword techniques flooded Joss’s mind, granting him mastery of sword-controlled wind!

Sadly, Joss had no sword in hand, rendering this power useless. The PS on the system panel flashed mockingly, as if laughing at his naïveté.

“Hmph… You think I didn’t anticipate this before drawing? It’s just a sword—now, let me show you mine!”