Chapter Ninety-Five: Why Do You Treat Me This Way?

The waiter came in for the fourth time to bring me tea. Watching the time tick away—already half past four—and Luo Ange still hadn’t arrived, my heart was in turmoil.

Another agonizing hour passed. The heavy rain began to pour, yet he still did not come. I sat alone in the private room, staring out at the torrential downpour, feeling utterly foolish.

I sent him countless messages, but they vanished like stones sinking into the sea, not even a ripple in response.

I thought maybe this time, I truly couldn’t help Shu Congxuan. He had been so kind to me, worrying about me even when he was in trouble, but I was powerless.

Even begging for mercy, Luo Ange didn’t give me a chance.

Du Fanchuan called me several times. Unable to answer, I sent him a text telling them to head to the airport without me.

He repeatedly asked where I was and if something had happened. I couldn’t bring myself to tell him what had occurred because even I had given up hope.

At half past six, I could no longer contain myself. I sent Luo Ange a message telling him that if he didn’t show up soon, I would accuse him of rape.

After sending the message, I stepped outside and stood under the wisteria trellis, waiting slowly, head darting nervously. I had to take a gamble.

Since the last car accident, I’d always had stomach pains during my period, but never like this—so severe that cold sweat broke out and stars flashed before my eyes. Still, I forced myself to endure it.

Half an hour later, Zhu Bang appeared in my sight.

Seeing him approach with an umbrella, I suddenly lost my balance and collapsed to the ground like a leaf falling in the autumn wind.

He quickly came over, pulled out his phone to show me something. Perhaps Luo Ange had told him about my situation, because he had already written the three words “Come with me” in advance.

Once inside the car, Zhu Bang handed me a black notebook and gestured for me to open it.

It seemed to be his handwriting—a kind reminder urging me to behave and not oppose Luo Ange.

Further down, he warned me that things were far more complicated than I imagined.

Of course, I knew it wasn’t simple. I just hated myself for forever being nothing more than a pawn in Luo Ange’s threats.

I had been to Luo Ange’s villa before, but this time I was especially nervous. From the moment I got out of the car, fear gripped me. I wanted nothing more than to turn around and leave.

I was done playing; whoever cared could fend for themselves. Did they think I was so desperate for them?

But Shu Congxuan’s fate rested in my hands. I dared not refuse, dared not walk away.

In the yard, Zhu Bang stood still. I stopped and looked at him, seeing compassion in his eyes.

With a gaze like his, I felt like I was about to descend into hell.

I patted his shoulder, steeling my heart, and stepped inside, feeling like a warrior marching to his death.

The front door on the first floor was open. Zhu Bang led me in, and I saw seven or eight servants lined up by the dining table, heads bowed.

Luo Ange sat with his back to me, flipping through a newspaper at the table.

I couldn’t see his expression—only the back of his head.

Opposite him sat a beautiful girl, about seventeen or eighteen, eating her meal.

Zhu Bang went forward, probably informing Luo Ange that I had arrived. Luo Ange curled his finger at me, still with his back turned.

I glanced at Zhu Bang, who signaled me to approach.

I walked up to Luo Ange and placed the paper I had prepared in the car before him.

On it were my words: “As long as you let Shu Congxuan go, I will agree to any condition you set.”

He glanced at it briefly, then locked eyes with me. A sneer slowly spread from the corner of his mouth, crawling across his face until it made him look almost like he was having a stroke.

He said something, then gestured to Zhu Bang to write it down for me. Zhu Bang hesitated, seeming unsure how to phrase it.

Finally, he held up the paper for me to see. It read: “Who do you think you are? A withered flower, a fallen leaf. Why should I negotiate with you?”

Those words felt like a bucket of cold water poured over my head, washing me from head to toe in icy despair.

Language is the sharpest double-edged sword in the world. Perhaps Luo Ange’s original words were even more cruel, but now was not the time to argue about dignity.

I took the paper and pen, thought for a moment, then wrote: “If you refuse, I will publicly declare that I am Shu Congxuan’s fiancée, but you raped me to take revenge on him.”

I placed the paper before him, waiting for his reply.

In just a second, he grabbed the paper and slammed it into my face, then seized my neck and pushed me into a corner.

His eyes were wide with fury, fire seeming to blaze from within. His grip was so strong I could barely breathe.

Zhu Bang and the others tried to intervene, but his sharp command froze them in place.

Honestly, I didn’t mind him choking me. I couldn’t speak anyway; suffocating was pointless.

I wished he would gouge out my eyes. Maybe then I could tell myself not to harbor any illusions about him—that he was a devil, that he was hell.

He gritted his teeth, snarling something that made the whole house seem to tremble as if in an earthquake.

The girl said something, and I finally noticed she was in a wheelchair, a blanket draped over her legs.

She rolled herself forward, shaking Luo Ange’s arm, speaking to him. He pushed her away and ordered the servants to wheel her back to her room.

Zhu Bang quickly scribbled a sentence and showed it to me: “Do you think I will help you just because of this?”

I should have known he wouldn’t help. When Guan Shanyuan looked at me with such difficulty, I should have realized I was only clinging to a shred of hope, foolishly thinking he might let me go.

I looked at Zhu Bang and saw a stranger, where once we had been so close—now it was all a joke.

Tears streamed down my face. I couldn’t write anymore, so I mouthed the words to him: “Why are you doing this to me?”

Luo Ange, why are you doing this to me? I have a heart. I feel pain. Do you think I’m invincible or unaffected?

I asked again and again: Why are you doing this to me? Why are you doing this to me?

Was it my fault? You were the one who initially provoked me, yet I was the one who suggested we part ways.

Luo Ange, why are you doing this to me?

His gaze deepened, darker and darker. Finally, he released me. I slid to the floor, clutching my neck and coughing violently.

He crouched down and said something. Zhu Bang quickly wrote it down for me: “I want to see how far you’re willing to go for Shu Congxuan.”

I looked at him, guessing what he wanted. He grinned wickedly, then said something else to Zhu Bang.

Zhu Bang hesitated, staring at me for several seconds before writing: “I have no interest in your body.”

Relief washed over me, but with it came a fresh wave of sorrow. If he didn’t want my body, then what did he want?

My phone kept ringing. I pulled it out; it was Du Fanchuan.

I checked the time. The plane was scheduled to take off in forty minutes. He and Grandpa must be frantic, unable to find me.

I wanted to tell Du Fanchuan not to wait for me. I wanted to assure him I would find a way to save Shu Congxuan. But I didn’t dare—I had no confidence.

Perhaps sensing my anxiety, Luo Ange glanced at my phone, then turned his face away and said something to Zhu Bang.

Zhu Bang wrote for me: “I can spare Shu Congxuan. You must kneel outside until I am satisfied, then I will stop.”

I stared at him in disbelief. Could Luo Ange really be so kind? If I knelt, would there still be traps waiting for me?

He sneered contemptuously, reached for my phone. Seeing me frozen, he snatched it away and gestured for Zhu Bang to take me outside.

I couldn’t imagine what Du Fanchuan and the others would do if they couldn’t find me. With Luo Ange holding my phone, I had no way to contact them.

All I could do was humbly hope that by kneeling here, I might ease some of Luo Ange’s hatred. No matter how he tormented me, I just didn’t want innocent people to get hurt.

Lightning flashed across the sky, perhaps thunder rumbled, but I couldn’t hear it. I only felt as if someone was constantly pouring water over my head.

At first, I could still make out the great tree before me, and see Zhu Bang and the steward peering anxiously through the door crack. Gradually, my vision blurred until I could no longer keep my eyes open, surrendering to the pouring rain.

My clothes clung tightly to my back, sticking to the half-healed scars beneath. Every raindrop felt like a pair of hands tearing at my skin and scars, ripping layer after layer away.

One layer torn, then another, then a thousand more.

The rain grew heavier, striking me like stones. It pained my ears, but what about the parts unseen? What of my heart, aching so deeply even I didn’t know the full extent?

The rain washed the soil from the flowerbed, only for it to be washed away again by fresh torrents—like the love I had poured out so earnestly, now swept away clean and bare.

I felt my lower abdomen tighten in waves, the blood inside me seeming to have been held back too long, now flowing out. I felt as if all the blood of my life was draining away.

I didn’t cry when Du Fanchuan and Yi Huayang violated me in my bed. I didn’t cry when my father beat me. I didn’t cry when I became “deaf and mute.” But now, kneeling here, barely alive, begging a merciless man to spare my friend, I cried.

Because it’s not that Shu Congxuan isn’t worth it. It’s that it’s not worth holding onto illusions about Luo Ange.

Sometimes I think being deaf and mute would be a blessing—I wouldn’t have to hear those hateful words, nor speak words that hurt others and myself. But why hasn’t heaven taken my sight too? Why hasn’t it withered my heart? Why must I still see Luo Ange and feel pain?

I raised my head, looking at the darkening night sky, at the storm that perhaps would never cease tonight. I wanted to howl to the heavens but couldn’t make a sound.

Luo Ange’s cruelty was a warning: don’t defy him, or not only would I suffer terribly, but my family and friends would as well.

Shu Congxuan and I weren’t lovers, yet we were closer than many couples. When one was in trouble, the other never stood idly by.

Xia Qi and Li Wanqiu weren’t my sisters, but they were like sisters. They had treated me so well—how could I harm them?

And my family? How could I be so selfish as to endanger so many for my sake alone?

As long as I lived, I would be under Luo Ange’s control, and so would my family and friends.

I don’t want this. I can’t. I won’t.