Volume Two: Bandits Here Chapter 137: The Daoist Priest from the Mountains

"Young man, why are you curled up so roundly?"

A chill struck behind Lin Changtian. He turned his head to see a Daoist priest standing at the corner of the street, blowing cool air directly at his backside.

Seeing Lin Changtian look over, the Daoist chuckled to himself, offered a standard Daoist greeting, and said, "Infinite Lord of Heaven, my boy, think nothing of it. Your rear is somewhat rounder than most people's, and since it was exposed to the elements, this old Daoist couldn't help but take a few extra glances. It's simply because I've reached advanced years; I'm getting old, and my mind is terribly foggy."

Clatter. As the Daoist bowed, a dagger slipped out from within his robes. It was extremely sharp, flashing with a chilling glare under the sunlight, making Lin Changtian furrow his brows.

"Think nothing of it, think nothing of it. The mountain where this old Daoist resides is crawling with snakes and insects, so bringing this along for self-defense is perfectly reasonable, wouldn't you say?" The Daoist stroked his beard and laughed.

Before his voice had even faded, another item tumbled out from his robes. Lin Changtian squinted and saw that it was a delicate copper mallet, tinged with a reddish hue that looked quite eerie.

"Don't be afraid, young man!" The Daoist laughed as he picked up the copper mallet, spread his hands, and said with a straight face, "As you can see, I am a Daoist priest, so it is entirely logical that I need a copper mallet when striking the wooden fish."

With a dark face, Lin Changtian scrutinized the Daoist hard. This fellow did not look like a good person at all. Narrowing his eyes, a bold idea popped into his mind.

"Old Immortal, do not blame yourself. To tell you the truth, I didn't expose myself deliberately to offend public decency; I simply fell victim to someone else's scheme. My outer robe, my trousers—everything was snatched away in one go!"

Upon hearing this, the Daoist furrowed his brow. Disregarding the dust on the ground, he straightened up and sat with grave dignity, cutting a figure determined to uphold justice for the world.

He slipped his hands into his sleeves, his eyes trembling slightly, and slowly said, "In broad daylight, who dares to defy the law! Have no fear and speak your mind. Even if that fellow Ma Hui is bullying you, I will go and demand an explanation for you."

"It's that scholar over there." Joy bloomed on Lin Changtian's face, and the look he gave the Daoist softened considerably. What a righteous "ox-nosed" champion of justice!

The Daoist glanced sideways, a corner of his mouth curling up into a cold sneer as he asked, "That's the person, right? Well, now that you mention it, why haven't you gone to report this to the authorities?"

"Who cares about such matters in Anma City?" Lin Changtian spread his hands and said helplessly, "From the patrolling bailiffs down to the street vendors, every single one of them is utterly savage! I unilaterally condemn the brutality and lawlessness of the people in this place from a moral standpoint!"

"Hold on a moment." The Daoist interrupted, eyeing Lin Changtian with complete seriousness. After a long pause, he finally spoke, "Young man, are you telling me that you're an outsider with neither background nor family or friends?"

Lin Changtian nodded, looking innocent and adorable, much like a cute little bunny.

"Since that's the case..." The Daoist slowly stood up, pressed one hand on Lin Changtian's shoulder, drew a massive mountain-cleaving saber from behind his back, and smiled, "This old man is going to pull off a robbery too! Fair trade for young and old alike, market price: three thousand Anma coins. Payment in gold or silver... is also acceptable."

The little bunny froze in place, twitching his ears upward, looking utterly bewildered.

I, Lin Changtian, master of Sishan, champion of the first Mebai City knowledge competition themed "Advocating Civilization and Establishing New Trends," runner-up in the first Mebai City competition of "Gluttons and Their Souls," the future light of Zhongtu, the youthful genius of Sishan, and self-voted contemporary figure of the Northern Territory who moved people deeply—how could I be bullied like this here, over and over again!

"Truly, when a tiger falls on flat ground, it is bullied by dogs!" Lin Changtian cried out angrily to the heavens. Staring dead at the Daoist with eyes split wide, he forced a few words out from between his clenched teeth: "Is it possible... to pay in installments?"

The Daoist mercilessly shook his head. Looking straight into Lin Changtian's eyes, he said word for word, "Those words are the greatest insult to my profession."

"Aren't you a Daoist priest?"

"That's my main job. I'm off duty now, and robbery happens to be my side hustle. So... you understand."

Lin Changtian: ......

The two stared at each other with wide eyes, neither willing to speak, plunging into a prolonged silence.

After a long while, growing impatient, the Daoist asked in an annoyed tone, "Young man, have you made up your mind?"

"I wish to preserve my purity in this world!" Lin Changtian closed his eyes and blurted out those very words.

The Daoist was stunned at first, then gave him a thumbs-up, praising him from the bottom of his heart, "What a man of iron backbone! Then don't blame my blade for being merciless!"

With that, he slowly raised the mountain-cleaving saber in his hand.

"Wait!" Lin Changtian leaped up, wiped away his tears, and stammered, "You've misunderstood my meaning! I meant to say, whatever you've taken a fancy to on me... just take it away, as long as you leave me with my fair, clean body."

The Daoist fell silent. Only then did he recall a very crucial problem: the fellow before him was dressed in scanty clothes and looked nothing like someone wealthy enough to have pockets. Not to mention... there wasn't a single pocket to be found on his clothes from head to toe.

"Young man, may I ask you a question?"

"I'm listening, please go right ahead," Lin Changtian hurriedly replied.

The Daoist stroked his beard, pulled a wolf-tooth club out from his robes as well, and holding the saber in his left hand and the club in his right, he said in a deep voice, "Tell me, what kind of malicious intentions could a Daoist in the mountains possibly have? He advocates non-action, chants thousands of chapters of the Dao Te Ching to ensure the peace and happiness of the people. It's just that after getting weary of daily self-cultivation, having nothing to do in his spare time, he comes out to rob passing travelers..."

Lin Changtian didn't dare to make a sound, terrified that the old man might pull out a tactical nuclear warhead from that tiny robe of his.

"I have a rule in everything I do: whatever effort I put in, I must reap an equivalent reward! So... if you truly have nothing left today, don't force it; this old Daoist will simply send you west to meet the Buddha."

"You're a Daoist priest... shouldn't you be sending me to meet the Infinite Lord of Heaven?" Lin Changtian lowered his stance and couldn't help chiming in.

The Daoist glanced at him and said flatly, "That's right, which is why I'm sending you to meet the Buddha—so you can tell that fellow that he has no business meddling in Eastern territory from now on! If he has any objections, he has the guts to cast you down into the eighteenth layer of the Avici Hell! That way, your existence will still have some value, won't it?"

Lin Changtian curled up into a ball once more, looking up at the surroundings. For some unknown reason, the weather wasn't particularly cold, but his heart felt utterly freezing.

"Since you show no benevolence, don't blame me for showing no righteousness." Lin Changtian plotted fiercely inwardly, though his face revealed nothing as he smiled and said, "I do happen to have a lost, long-lost Daoist supreme art. I've heard that once mastered, one can ascend to immortality on the spot. How about using it to buy my life?"

The Daoist shook his head, stroked his chin, and said casually, "This old Daoist has no interest in ascending; I just want to be a quiet and handsome man."

"Many years ago, a patriarch of the Daoist tradition learned this very celestial art and transformed into a rare beauty unmatched throughout Zhongtu and the entire mortal world. Have you ever heard of him?"

"Oh? Who was that patriarch? The Three Pure Ones or Hongjun?"

Lin Changtian stood with his hands behind his back, smiled faintly, and whispered into his ear, "That patriarch... was none other than Daniel Wu, one of the four great beauties of Zhongtu a thousand years ago!"