Volume Two: Bandits Here Chapter One Hundred and Forty: Ma Hui's Scheme

Lin Changtian squatted at the mouth of the alley, his eyes full of resentment, resembling a solitary wolf gazing into the distance. A large robe was draped over his shoulders. Xuan Zihe looked somewhat embarrassed and chuckled awkwardly, "Young man, I went to visit an old friend. Don't be upset. Besides, you didn't lose anything, did you?"

"Taoist Priest, aren't you from the mountains? What kind of old friends could you possibly have..." Lin Changtian curled his lips in disbelief and said, "You, you're probably new here and haven't seen this bustling world, getting lured away to some willow-shaded pleasure quarters to carouse and make merry."

Xuan Zihe did not argue. He smiled faintly, nodded, and held up three fingers.

"Are you saying... you rocked and rolled simultaneously with three young maidens who understand men's clothes? Don't talk big and risk getting your teeth chilled! At your age, back in the Central Plains, you'd be called someone utterly impotent..." Lin Changtian glanced at Xuan Zihe with sheer disdain.

He had never heard of any Taoist priest who liked to make a cow fly to the heavens.

"Who is the impotent one?" Xuan Zihe asked out of curiosity.

"A philosophical master from Seven Swords Town who slapped himself to death." Xuan Zihe nodded, pulled his hand back into his sleeve, and after a moment, poked out a single finger, dangling it in front of Lin Changtian.

"Master, holding up one finger makes you look much more honest. Tell me, whose daughter was it? Is she tender and juicy? I have a friend who wants to go too..."

Just as Lin Changtian was speaking, his vision suddenly went black. He was knocked flat onto the ground and only managed to stagger back up after a long while.

Xuan Zihe maintained his punching posture, looking immensely powerful and imposing.

"Why did you hit me while we were talking?" Lin Changtian shook his head and cursed resentfully.

Xuan Zihe folded his hands into his sleeves, ignoring Lin Changtian's questioning, and muttered to himself, "Do you know what the core essence of the Taoist sect is?"

Lin Changtian shook his head, indicating he did not know. He originally wanted to let the matter drop, but seeing the mysterious smile on Xuan Zihe's face, he sensed there was a profound meaning hidden within the words. He feigned deep thought for a moment and slowly said, "Could you be asking me to meet you after the third watch? No, that's not right, the monkey was supposed to be hit on the back of the head..."

"What this poor Taoist means is that those of our mountain sect disdain arguing with ordinary mortals. Speak less, do more, and when you encounter a bastard, just beat the crap out of him. I gave you three chances just now, but you lacked the spiritual roots and misinterpreted the meaning."

Lin Changtian covered his face and aggrievedly said, "Then why did three fingers suddenly turn into one? Shouldn't there be three chances? Why did you only give me two?"

"This poor Taoist is a man of the mountains and woods, bad at arithmetic," Xuan Zihe replied calmly, looking quite proud of himself.

Lin Changtian sighed, raised three fingers, with cyan primordial Qi condensing on his fingertips. It was immensely resilient in the fierce wind, revealing a hint of murderous intent, fully displaying the might of the Cave Spirit Realm.

No more pretending, this young master is showing his hand. He stared viciously at Xuan Zihe and said, "Stinky Taoist priest! I'll give you three chances too, you better weigh your options!"

***

Xuan Zihe smiled slightly. He revealed his true form, a wisp of cyan light also condensing at his fingertips, swaying gently in the breeze, causing Lin Changtian to knit his brows deeply.

Before long, the sound of the wind gradually subsided.

Lin Changtian suddenly widened his eyes. As he came to his senses, he recognized the heaven-defying methods of the Taoist priest before him.

When did Anma City get another Heavenly Edict cultivator?!

His brow furrowed even tighter, and he secretly pumped himself up internally: A mere realm-master at the Heavenly Edict stage! Death is all it is, and as the dignified master of Sishan, how could he bow to brute force and submit to tyranny! Alas, how can youths of our generation lower their heads and bow to the powerful and wealthy!

At this thought, Lin Changtian raised his head, his gaze resolute, and slowly opened his mouth.

"Grandpa Taoist, I saw the atmosphere was a bit tense, so I pulled such a stunt just to tease you. Isn't cultivating the Tao all about being happy?" Lin Changtian said with a straight face, having figured out that sometimes bowing one's head is good for the cervical spine.

Xuan Zihe pulled his hands back into his sleeves, pondered for a long while, and remained silent.

"Grandpa Taoist, what are you pondering about? Why have you... suddenly become so young?" Lin Changtian fawned, his face plastered with a sycophantic smile typical of a two-faced flunky.

Xuan Zihe cast a sidelong glance at him and said coldly, "This is the supreme martial art of the Xuan Gate, returning to simplicity and truth. Seeing your personality, you'd actually be quite suited for quiet cultivation in the palace."

林长天 (Lin Changtian) thought: "I also think I'm quite suited... wait, why go to the palace? Shouldn't it be the mountains..."

"To be a eunuch, bringing disaster to... ugh, can a man still wreak havoc in the harem after losing that thing? Tsk tsk, what a pity. Ever since the imperial power collapsed a few hundred years ago, there are no longer castration methods like yours."

Having failed to curry favor, Lin Changtian hid in the corner and began drawing circles on the ground.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm researching which of the two testicles is better to remove." He stared intently at the circles drawn on the ground, wearing a dead-serious expression.

Xuan Zihe froze in place. He grabbed Lin Changtian by the collar, looked him up and down thoroughly, and after a long while, slowly said, "I truly find it hard to understand why Mahui would choose a creature like you."

"I'm not a creature..." Lin Changtian said weakly.

"Then what kind of dazzling, rebellious, heaven-defying carbon-based lifeform are you?"

***

"A cute little bunny rabbit," Lin Changtian blinked, looking exceptionally naive and adorable.

Xuan Zihe let out a cold laugh. It was a pity this fellow was far too vulgar and presumably possessed a face thicker than city walls; otherwise... braised rabbit head sounded like a rather good dish.

"Taoist, what did you mean when you said Mahui chose me?" Lin Changtian couldn't help asking out of curiosity.

Having played around enough and finished joking, he remembered his serious business. Unfortunately, Xuan Zihe was no pushover and couldn't be bothered to humor him.

"Oh, Mahui is missing a eunuch by his side and asked me to find one for him. I think you're quite suitable," Xuan Zihe said with a straight face.

Lin Changtian curled his lips and retorted unhappily, "Mahui is already a dying man. What does he need a eunuch for?"

"What kind of malicious intentions could Mahui possibly have? He probably just wants to study which of the two testicles is actually removed."

Lin Changtian: "........"

"Let's stop making physiological jokes," Lin Changtian said with a dry laugh, looking very seriously at Xuan Zihe. "Mahui summoned me to Anma City with a single letter. Do you have any idea what he's scheming?"

Xuan Zihe pointed at the sky, then pointed at his own mouth, looking grave and earnest.

Lin Changtian suddenly saw the light and repeatedly said, "It was my oversight. This indeed isn't a place to talk. Are you afraid that walls have ears and the heavenly secrets will be leaked?"

"No, the sun is reaching its peak, it's time for lunch, and this poor Taoist's stomach is rumbling!"

.......

(Let me inform everyone, the updates this past month have been quite unstable. On one hand, it's due to the Chinese New Year, and on the other hand, it's because I've been preparing for the graduate school entrance examinations. However, next month will be much more stable. That said, because of the exams, the updates might not be as frequent, so I hope for your understanding. Thank you all for your support and understanding. Regardless of anything, I will not drag out this book just to pad the word count and end it hastily.)